Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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