JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
