I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
