My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
