He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
