who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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