oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Come see our sink grown plant.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
