i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize