Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
