his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize