What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
