I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
