I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
