yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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