Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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