Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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