Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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