We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize