Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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