just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
