is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
