my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Mom said you looked used
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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