careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
