You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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