Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
