I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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