you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
