Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize