ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
