my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
