chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
