I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
