You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
