dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
