Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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