I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's Friday. Sex?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
