so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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