My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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