I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
