Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
