I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
