Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
