you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
