Sacagawea was the original milf.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
