Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
