I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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