Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I need water and some morals
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
