I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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