i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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