i jhust puked up my retainher.
My hand turned me down
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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