Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
