This girl is more easily done than said...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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