Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
