Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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