dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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