I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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