So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have aggressive nipples.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
