If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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