so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
