jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
