My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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