Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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