in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
