Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
