how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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