Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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