I look better un-naked...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
